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[brigdh]

The Ten Commandments of Fandom by ausmac, via minakochan. Pretty funny.

*smiles blearily at you all* Well. I am sore, and tired, and out-of-it, but clubbing continues to be the best thing EVAR. I went out for a friend's birthday last night, and it was a lot of fun, especially since we got to go to some places that I'd never been before. I adore dancing. And when it's all hot and sweaty, and the place is packed, and the good music is playing- the new stuff, my favorite stuff- then yeah. There's nothing like it.

That's kind of strange for me. I was very much the kid who had no coordination, who was completely clumsy and graceless. And I never went clubbing even once throughout high school, because of various complicated reasons. So now, to be able to do it, and often, and well, is weird. But cool.

In a segue that seems perfectly logical to me, I'm going to talk about Clubsoka now. I was pretty much finished with the first chapter, more or less ready to ask people to beta it. Except, of course, that coming so close to completion means that I must panic and rethink everything and have multiple existential crises over the goal of AUs and details of characterization and the meaning of writing and "What am I trying to say with this story? And if I don't have a deeper theme, is there a point to writing it? Why am I writing it in this tense when I know it bothers some people? Do I want to spend the thousands of words on it that it'll take if it amounts to nothing more than a kink fic? What if I should just let it go and write other things, which would be better and deeper and not feel quite so incredibly self-indulgent? Wouldn't this idea be better off left as a daydream, rather than a novel? Does god exist? What is the meaning of life?" (All my existential crises are linked. It's rather sad that I manage to connect theology and fanfic.)

I think I'm mostly over it now. But I ended up deciding to change a rather important detail, in order to bring it more in line with canon (I had been writing Hisoka without empathy. But I think maybe I shouldn't, because I don't have an explanation for why he wouldn't have it.) Of course this is going to necessitate big changes, particularly in his relationship with his family, and possibly in the entire plotline. (Would someone with empathy have random sex? Would they even be capable of it? It'd take far different things to motivate him than it would for a normal person, at the least.) I don't know. Gah.

I do apologize for talking so much about this here. I feel guilty, especially since I have no work to show for all my talk. Feel free to ignore me, it's just that I sometimes need to talk out loud about things to help myself think, and I wouldn't want to corner someone and force them to listen to me babble.

There's a frost warning up for tonight. I weep now. If you haven't already heard about how much I hate winter, be prepared for months of whining.

Comments

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

XD Thanks. I just didn't want to be, you know, boring or something.

And it is! Yay, clubbing!