(no subject)

[brigdh]

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

I didn't think I was going to care. I really didn't, I thought I was cool with the whole show ending thing. But, but... it's over. It's really over, and that means no more Buffy ever and ever. And ever. And, and... wahhh!

Anya! Oh my god, Anya! And Robin, and Faith, and Spike and Willow and Angel and Andrew and Xander and everyone!

And all the potentials, everywhere. Oh my God.

I've lost coherence. This is okay, because there is no. More. Buffy.

And oh my God, I even liked Kennedy. I have never liked Kennedy, but I did here. And, and... wahhhhhh! Don't end, don't end!

I stole an idea from fox1013 and changed all my icons to Buffy icons. Buffy. My first love.

Buffy was my very first fandom. Buffy was the first place I ever even heard of fandom. And I don't know if I'd be in it at all if it wasn't for Buffy. And what would I be doing right now then? Chances are good I'd be getting drunk with my roommates while watching whatever-the-fuck reality show is currently playing. (I think it's Top Model, or Married by America, or something with a lot of girls discussing who weighs too much.) I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be the person I am.

It's over! I can't believe it's over. Really over. I saw the movie when it was in theaters, you know. God, I must have been about ten, because I remember it was rated PG-13 and I was all excited that I got to go see a PG-13 movie. And I've been watching the series from the very first episode. That was when I was in seventh grade. I can remember doing my homework while watching it, or telling friends to call me later when it started.

I remember watching Surprise for the first time, and being so embarrassed because my mom was watching it with me and there was S-E-X.

I remember loving Spike/Dru all through that season. It was my first OTP. And I was only thirteen/fourteen at the time. This may explain some important things about me.

And God, Becoming. Becoming. TV doesn't get better than that. "Take all that away, and what's left?"

"Me."

*sob*

The mayor! Faith! Spike with a chip! "Love isn't brains, children, it's blood."

God! God! How can this be over?

I remember watching Hush, by now well into fandom, and calling Willow and Tara as a couple by the end of that one episode.

Tara! God, no more Tara! No more Willow! "You think you know. What's to come, who you are. You haven't even begun."

And Season Five, and dearest Dawnie. Dawn! Dawn. And Spike in love with Buffy. The Buffybot! The Body. Why didn't this win an Emmy? It should have won an Emmy, damnit. "I just... I just don't understand."

And the Gift. God, if I thought Becoming was angsty...

"She saved the world."

"A lot."

And Season Six, where they brought back a character from the dead and actually made it work. Once More with Feeling, which I've watched so many times I could recite the whole thing by heart. Spuffy, in all it's wrong, bad, destructive glory, and God, but it was wonderful to watch. Seeing Red. Tara. Spike.

"Bored now."

And wasn't it a physical shock, didn't it make you cringe, didn't you gape in wonder at that? At black thread that sewed his lips shut so he couldn't even scream. Even if Two to Grave/the Grave didn't quite deliver on what Villains started, those last three minutes...

And all of this year.

All of it, the whole thing, from Welcome to the Hellmouth to Chosen. It's all... it's such a part of me, of the stories I tell and even the way I talk.

I can't believe it. It doesn't seem real, that there won't be anything to hurry home to watch on Tuesday nights anymore. There won't be any new Buffy reviews to read on LJ. There won't be spoilers for next season to avoid, blank tapes to have to buy, new screencaps to icon-ize. Because it's done. It's been seven years, and it's done. Everything it was, everything it might have built up to, is over.

I miss it.

Comments

[vampyrecandy.livejournal.com]

I'm gonna have to start watching Angel.

Even though I should be doing my homework I am going to do a little Buffy tribute on my lj...

I liked this last episode ... The symbology, etc.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Angel's been really, really good this last year. They've already done a lot of stuff and have their own mythology, though. It might be kind of hard to pick it up if you haven't seen any of it. But it's definately worth it.

And, ahem, I happen to know certain spoilers for next year that make me think you'll really want to start watching...

[vampyrecandy.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you are refering to ... *drool*

My plan for the summer is to watch all the eps. So, here goes!

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Good plan. But, um, don't give up if you don't like Season One. There was lots of bad there. But it gets much better in Season Two, and this last year- Season Four- was amazing.

[vampyrecandy.livejournal.com]

Sounds good. I am eagerly awaiting episode 2 so that I can get up to season 4. I am fairly anal in that I really would prefer to watch them all in order. Which means that I *will* watch them all in order.

:-)

[lostmyskin.livejournal.com]

i cried at the end.

i feel the same way. (sniffle)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Oh, me too. I was just in shock.

And you! The first time I talked to you- I mean really talked, not "What was the Biology homework" talked- was because you saw me writing a Buffy fic. God, I'd forgotten that.

I just... it's the million little things like that, the things that I'm not remembering right now, but that wouldn't have happened without the show. And it's over. And I just can't believe it.

[amet.livejournal.com]

But hey! The next hellmouth is in Cleveland, so you're good to go if they ever do a reunion special!

At least the last episode was rife with the Joss-ness. And Wood with his whole, 'I'm cuter than you are' line... I'm going to have to go back through for quoteables. ;) God, but if Joss had written more of this season... They juggled the Spuffy and the Angelness, which I so expected them to drop the ball on, and they redeemed Giles in like five seconds. I like Giles again! It's like coming home!

*sniffles* Dammit, now I'm all missing the Buffyness, too. See what you did?

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Aw, yeah, wasn't Wood so cute? And Faith, going for her pants! And the end, when I thought he died...

And Giles, and the whole Scooby gang, coming back together. God, it was just so good! And for a quoteable: "We could put you in a room, let you wrassle it out. There could be oil."

Buffy's a S/A slasher! A girl after my own heart, I tell ya.

[sephyelysian.livejournal.com]

What's sad about all this is that I've been with Buffy since the very beginning. I remember sitting down my last year of high school to watch the very first two hour episode (set in movie format, no less). I had seen the movie and had thought it the goofiest thing ever. I don't know what impulse made me watch the episode that night aside from the fact it just looked so damn cool in the promos but boy am I glad I did.

It's sad to realize that the show's been so much a constant -- I mean, Buffy was even in college when I was. And oh God, the moments. You've named a few already...but what about the apocalyptic vision of the Wish-verse? Faith's arrival in Sunnydale and her conversion to evil? Or the sheer wonderfulness of episodes like "Hush" and the musical?

Of course this means I have to make the move to Angel in fall. My watching of that show has been steady if often sporadic. I will say that they did redeem themselves this year after an incredibly slow build-up and seeing James Marsters's return after the events in Chosen is a must. As wonderful as that is however, there's still going to be a void, this little part of me that will always look back on Buffy and wish there had been more even though I'm happy they ended it on a high note.

Maybe that's the way it should be.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I feel the same way. Of course I didn't want to see the show spiral down and lose everything that made it good, but I can't be completely happy that it's over. I keep wishing I could just see a little bit more, just one more episode.

And the Wish! Yeah, *God* that was a good episode. Xander and Willow killing Cordelia as Giles watches helplessy, The end, where they're all dying, and Buffy just walks through Angel's ashes and doesn't care, where she stakes Xander, where the Master snaps her neck and she just falls, slowly, soundlessly...

God, that gets me everytime. There was just So. Much. Good about this series. I love it so much.