Horrible Student Stories

[brigdh]

Continuing in the vein of people at school who are bizarre and/or suck:

Racheline has said I should make a website called Hitch A Mammoth To A Plow (from a terrible answer I got on a test one time), which would be a place for teachers of all sorts to post horrible stories about their students. This is a story I would post there. I TA for an Introduction to Archaeology course which has weekly labs that allow the students to do hands-on activities, often with actual artifacts, about more technical things than the lectures usually cover. Last week's lab was on lithics (stone tools): the basics of how they are made, what is the terminology used to describe them and work with them, and so on. Yesterday's lab was on North American Lithics; picking up a lot of things from the previous week's, but applying it to a specific tool set and asking more complicated questions.

As soon as the lab started, a girl (who I might say, does not often deign to come to lab) called me over. She was working on a section of the lab that asked you to compare two different styles of arrowheads through intense description of several of their aspects. One of which was "knapping technology", and that was what had confused her. "How it was made," I explained.

"But there are no choices to circle," she said. Not that we have ever done a lab where you simply had to circle one choice out of a list.

"No," I said. "We want you to write your own answer. Look at the lithics, see if they have a lot of flakes or a few, are the flakes big or small, and so on."

"What's a flake?" she asked.

I paused. "Did you come to lab last week?" She had not. "Well, a flake is the mark left when you chip a piece of stone off, as you shape it into the tool you want."

"But that's just an observation. That doesn't tell you how they made it."

"Yes, it does," I said. "Because the flakes are left in the process of making it. So looking at them tells you what the maker did."

"No," she said. "It's just observation. It's just what the tool looks like."

"Look. If you were describing, say, a sheet, and you said it was 200-count. That's an observation, but it also tells you how it was made, that they used 200 threads, and a loom that would handle that."

"No, 200-count is just a description of its quality. It's not a technique."

"It's high-quality because it's hard to make," I said. "They used 200 threads and not less than that during the process of making it."

"No," she still protested. "They're not the same things."

"Okay, think about cooking. If you had a chicken, and you observed that it was roasted, that tells you how it was cooked."

She thought about that for a moment. "Okay, I'll give you that one."

"Uh, thanks," I said. Because clearly, what teachers really want you to do is argue endlessly with them over semantics.

Comments

[kohakutenshi.livejournal.com]

Gee, am I wrong for thinking that maybe there should have been use of a drug analogy somewhere in there? "Now for example, a rock of cocaine..." >.>'

Obviously the girl has never made anything in her life. Which is extremely sad. ; . ;

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

In cases like this, you have to wonder if the person actually doesn't know what they're talking about, or if they're just trying to be stupid.

[pukingtoreador.livejournal.com]

My heart goes out to you. Sophmoric bullshit is sophmoric.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Seriously. Thanks for the compassion, though.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness! O.O

I had a high school teacher who told us a story about how he spent a week in class talking about euthanasia, why some people thought it was right and others wrong, then asked the students to write a one page paper about it only to have not one, but TWO students turn in papers about "The Youth in Asia." *Boggles*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Haha! That is an awesome, and yet horrible, story.

[threewalls]

I feel for you.

I've not had anything particularly exciting lately (Why do students not hand their assignments in? Why?), but a colleague who runs the Introductory Hebrew class had a student ask why the word in Hebrew meaning 'a building people live in' wasn't just the sounds of the English 'house' transliterated into the Hebrew alphabet.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I know! Is it that hard to just hand something in? Or show up? Or not fall asleep during lectures?

Ha! That is an amazing story. You have to wonder, though, if they'd ever heard another language at all!

[threewalls]

I'm not teaching, per se, I'm tech support since we're doing online submissions. I never know if they *can't* hand it in or they just aren't bothering to try.

[kessie.livejournal.com]

...oh boy. :|

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Seriously.

[kalichan.livejournal.com]

I'll give you that one. I'll give you that one. Like a present! All wrapped and everything.

!!!!

Please make the website! I will add my "evolution is false bc this chair is made of plants" story. Also the powdered wigs one.

Have you seen this (http://rateyourstudents.blogspot.com/)? It may soothe you, for you have compatriots in misery.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I don't think I've heard the powdered wigs story! Although even that description sounds awesome.

I love the rateyourstudents blog. Though that study they just linked about entitled students is rage-inducing.

[hazard-us.livejournal.com]

Yay, I would GLADLY contribute to this website!

Because clearly, what teachers really want you to do is argue endlessly with them over semantics.

Ah yes. Because the best way to get a great grade in a class is to argue over pointless things with the person who knows what is going to be on the test. (Hint: the best way to get a great grade is doing your lab quietly, reading the instructions BEFORE calling me over, and letting me drink in peace.)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Dude, exactly! This is my problem. These students clearly have not thought about the cost/benefit of annoying anyone who will later be grading you.

[gen50.livejournal.com]

it is difficult to be a teacher sometimes
although it can be rewarding.

i taught a tech class (programming class) and i was lucky in that most students wanted to learn (it is an elective class)
but yes, some people like to argue.

i particularly liked i'll give you that one
*laughs*

you have to wonder, debating is fine, if it makes sense
but apparently her logics are a little wayward.

hmmm. that website would be exciting.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I general I do really enjoy teaching. It's just the people who seem to not want to be there that annoy me.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

This is why I do not teach. Because I could not resist asking that girl how she was bright enough to get out of bed in the fucking morning.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

GAH. Seriously.

[parallactic.livejournal.com]

The level of cluelessness boggles. I have no idea how you managed to keep at it. I'd have given up at "what's a flake?"

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Sometimes it becomes a game. Particularly on the days when we're doing review, and a student asks me a question, and in the back of my mind, I'm thinking, I have no idea what this is. What can I make up that sounds reasonable? Hee.