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Feb. 1st, 2016 04:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brigdhI never know quite how to write these posts – "here's a thing that was stressing me out, but now it's over and I have no particular need of help or advice!" – but I feel like I should write them, if only because, I dunno, I like to know about what's going on in my friend's lives, so I assume they feel the same about me. So! If this sounds kinda awkward, that's why, not because I particularly mind talking about it.
So, last Saturday (right in the midst of being stuck at home for three days due to NYC's overly excessive blizzard!) I found a lump in my breast. I'd had vague worries in that direction before, because human flesh is not perfectly smooth but full of striations and weird bobbles and random dents, and so there were plenty of times when I thought, "Is this a lump? What is a lump supposed to feel like anyway? Was that there before?"
Well, this lump, there was absolutely no mistaking it for anything else. It was hard as a rock and very distinct from the flesh around it, and an inch or two long. Which was kind of terrifying at first, because OMG HUGE and then sort of reassuring, because cancer is generally fairly slow, and this was so easy to feel that I was pretty sure it couldn't have been there for long without me noticing it. (If nothing else, I'm pretty sure if it had been there the last time I had sex, I would have found it, and that was this month.) (Sorry if that was TMI.)
I mostly managed not to google anything related to my condition, since googling any medical condition ever only leads to convincing yourself that you have cancer and are DEFINITELY dying, and this felt like a problem which would be much worse if cancer is an actual possibility.
Instead, I made an appointment with a doctor, and luckily only had to wait a few days to see him. He was like, "Well, that is definitely a lump*", and made me an appointment for a mammogram and sonogram, which also luckily only took a few days. (On a side note, apparently it is common practice to have to wait months to get a sonogram appointment? What the fuck, I have had sonograms before – for other reasons, obviously – and it is seriously one of the simplest medical procedures to do, it takes like five minutes. I don't understand the US healthcare system.) That appointment was this morning, and the results are that it is absolutely, 100%, definitely a simple cyst (basically like a blister or really big pimple, except down under the skin so you see nothing on the surface), no big deal, nothing to do with cancer, no treatment necessary. So that's good! Very good. And then I went to reward myself for not having cancer by eating too much Indian food.
*Also he told me that they no longer recommend that women do breast self-exams! Apparently mammograms now catch things so much earlier than they can be felt that doctors just trust to those instead, and so self-exams tend to lead to lots of worry and stress over what almost always turns out to be nothing. Isn't that odd? I had no idea. By the way, I was doing yoga and happened to notice my lump randomly, since I have always been too lazy and too much of a vague hypochondriac to practice regular self-examination.
Anyway! That's what's been going on with me for the past week and a half.
On the other hand, I did get a lot of reading done! Both clinics I visited seemed to be in the midst of some sort of crisis, and I ended up spending a total of five hours in waiting rooms. Which was annoying, but you know, better me than someone with kids to pick up or who gets paid by the hour at their job.
So, last Saturday (right in the midst of being stuck at home for three days due to NYC's overly excessive blizzard!) I found a lump in my breast. I'd had vague worries in that direction before, because human flesh is not perfectly smooth but full of striations and weird bobbles and random dents, and so there were plenty of times when I thought, "Is this a lump? What is a lump supposed to feel like anyway? Was that there before?"
Well, this lump, there was absolutely no mistaking it for anything else. It was hard as a rock and very distinct from the flesh around it, and an inch or two long. Which was kind of terrifying at first, because OMG HUGE and then sort of reassuring, because cancer is generally fairly slow, and this was so easy to feel that I was pretty sure it couldn't have been there for long without me noticing it. (If nothing else, I'm pretty sure if it had been there the last time I had sex, I would have found it, and that was this month.) (Sorry if that was TMI.)
I mostly managed not to google anything related to my condition, since googling any medical condition ever only leads to convincing yourself that you have cancer and are DEFINITELY dying, and this felt like a problem which would be much worse if cancer is an actual possibility.
Instead, I made an appointment with a doctor, and luckily only had to wait a few days to see him. He was like, "Well, that is definitely a lump*", and made me an appointment for a mammogram and sonogram, which also luckily only took a few days. (On a side note, apparently it is common practice to have to wait months to get a sonogram appointment? What the fuck, I have had sonograms before – for other reasons, obviously – and it is seriously one of the simplest medical procedures to do, it takes like five minutes. I don't understand the US healthcare system.) That appointment was this morning, and the results are that it is absolutely, 100%, definitely a simple cyst (basically like a blister or really big pimple, except down under the skin so you see nothing on the surface), no big deal, nothing to do with cancer, no treatment necessary. So that's good! Very good. And then I went to reward myself for not having cancer by eating too much Indian food.
*Also he told me that they no longer recommend that women do breast self-exams! Apparently mammograms now catch things so much earlier than they can be felt that doctors just trust to those instead, and so self-exams tend to lead to lots of worry and stress over what almost always turns out to be nothing. Isn't that odd? I had no idea. By the way, I was doing yoga and happened to notice my lump randomly, since I have always been too lazy and too much of a vague hypochondriac to practice regular self-examination.
Anyway! That's what's been going on with me for the past week and a half.
On the other hand, I did get a lot of reading done! Both clinics I visited seemed to be in the midst of some sort of crisis, and I ended up spending a total of five hours in waiting rooms. Which was annoying, but you know, better me than someone with kids to pick up or who gets paid by the hour at their job.
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no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 03:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 04:56 am (UTC)The Indian food was indeed very good, but I wasn't kidding about eating too much of it: I couldn't even have dinner tonight because I was still full from lunch!
no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:16 pm (UTC)And yes, as much as all the signs were pointing to "probably not cancer" (I'd be really young, for one thing, don't have much family history of it, etc, etc) it is EXTREMELY NICE to have that confirmed and it all over with. Well, not all over with, since I still have to do a follow-up with the regular doctor, but that should be easy and just confirm what I've already heard.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:23 pm (UTC)And I hope you're doing well now, by the way.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 11:14 pm (UTC)As far as I can tell, the difficulty is that I'm only 48 and have very large breasts. www.cancer.gov says that mammograms miss about 20% of cancers in women before menopause because of tissue density. Menopause brings changes in breast tissue that make mammograms more accurate.
In my case, the radiology folks didn't take me seriously because I'm so young and have no family history. My primary care doctor kept on it because she could feel the dratted thing, too, and when my younger sister was diagnosed in July, my PCP got me back in for another mammogram and surgery consultation. Prior to that, we were assuming it was likely a cyst, and, with no family history, surgical biopsy seemed extreme (that would have been the same surgery I eventually had to take the tumor out, just without anybody being sure it was a tumor). They couldn't biopsy it any other way because of not being able to see it.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 10:36 pm (UTC)Did they have you do a sonogram? My understanding is those are supposed to be more useful on younger women – that's why I had one.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 11:28 pm (UTC)*I don't think I heard anyone use the term 'sonogram,' but google says that ultrasound is the technique and sonograms are the resulting images. Every medical person I've dealt with locally just talks about whether or not things show on ultrasound. Regional difference?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 07:48 pm (UTC)Maybe! I've always heard them used interchangeably, without any real distinction.
The second time it showed clearly enough for them to biopsy but only just.
Wow, how awful. I'm really glad they managed to find it in the end, and be able to treat you.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 02:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-01 11:19 pm (UTC)Also, that's so weird about self-exams... My OB/GYN was definitely still recommending them last time I saw her, and, like, aren't they pushing the age of starting regular mammograms out all the time? IIRC, it used to be 40 and I was starting to get close, and then they pushed it out (to 45, I think?) -- although I think I have enough family history/concern that I'd still stick with 40, which I believe is still an option. I do get the false-poisitive scare being a very stressful thing, but it seems like catching actual things early would outweigh those considerations...
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 04:55 am (UTC)Hmm, you're the second person to say your doctor has disagreed with the 'no self-exams' thing. I wonder if it varies depending on where you are? Or perhaps on personal medical history?
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 12:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 02:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 03:53 am (UTC)Glad to hear the lump was nothing! And your self-restraint in googling XD Insert the Alexander Pope quote about a little knowledge.
Also, I feel TMI on flisters' journals is the best way to go about it. I mean, you can always choose to look away...trying to get out of a conversation is a lot harder. and yeah, I'm always interested in hearing about flisters' lives, though I am terrible at it myself!
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 07:10 pm (UTC)Haha, yes, that is a very applicable quote! Funny to think they knew about the dangers of the internet in the 18th century. ;)
I'm always interested in hearing about flisters' lives, though I am terrible at it myself!
Good point! And clearly me too – or else I wouldn't have waited until this was over to post about it!
no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 05:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-02 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 01:44 am (UTC)I didn't know they'd stopped recommending self exams, but now I feel better for not doing any.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 07:44 pm (UTC)I didn't know they'd stopped recommending self exams, but now I feel better for not doing any.
Ha, that was my thoughts exactly.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-03 07:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-04 12:31 am (UTC)Both my sister and a friend of mine also found what ended up being benign cysts in their breasts in their late 20s. With our family history of breast cancer it was particular stressful for my sister.
This reminds me that I totally need to schedule a GYN appointment for myself. I'm long overdue.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-04 07:06 pm (UTC)Ugh, I imagine that must have been terribly scary.
This reminds me that I totally need to schedule a GYN appointment for myself. I'm long overdue.
Ha, yes, I was in this position too. Oddly, a few months ago I went in to the doctor to get a weird-looking mole checked (it was nothing), and while I was there, they randomly gave me a pap smear! Which, I mean, all for the best, I suppose, but I was certainly not expecting that.
no subject
Date: 2016-02-06 12:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-02-07 04:52 am (UTC)