Random thoughts

[brigdh]

I adore horror movies. However, I loathe the gory aren't-snuff-films-illegal? Saw/Hostel/The Hitcher (also? 'The Hitcher' is the most idiotic title of a movie I've ever heard. Who the fuck says 'hitcher'? The word is 'hitchhiker', seriously, it's not that long) genre that seems to be the only type of horror movie coming out lately. I've been watching previews of the upcoming Primeval with interest, in the hope that maybe here would finally be a movie I could stand. I didn't have a lot of hope, but hey, there's always a chance.

The commercials keep claiming that it's "based on the true story of the deadliest serial killer ever". I'd been idly wondering who they were talking about, but wasn't terribly concerned about it. And then last night I saw a commercial where they named him: Gustave. Was that the crazy French medieval werewolf guy?, I wondered, not being able to think of any other serial killers named Gustave. So I googled it.

It is a crocodile. People, what the hell. That is not an appropriate villain for a horror movie. I think I almost prefer the snuff films to yet another movie in the grand tradition of Lake Placid and Anaconda. I share this news with you in case anyone else was under the mistaken impression that Primeval might be worth seeing.

By the way, the crazy French medieval werewolf guy was probably one of these, though none of those stories seem to quite match the one I was thinking of. They'd still make a better movie than freaking crocodiles, though.

Comments

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

What the hell? Can a crocodile be a serial killer? I mean obviously killers, but a serial killer, with ya know, ritualistic behavior and the like? Does the FBI know about this....

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Well, it's a serial killer in the sense of having killed multiple people. It has "over 300 victims"! (Though I totally call bullshit on that, because how do they know it was this crocdile and not multiple crocdiles in the same river, or people drowning, or people just leaving the bloody village.)

But yeah. I find it annoying that they play all the advertising up to be "serial killer, whoooo, scary!" and then it's an animal.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Clever bastards for taking the words "serial killer" literally. Although, honestly as a suburban Ohioan I feel soooooooooooooo very threatened by a renegade man-eating crocodile. Death by saurian reptile, real high up there as a likely cause of my demise, along with death rays and evil ninjas, of course.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. Lake Placid is all about killer crocodiles in rural New York, though! You could be threatened by that. Especially since it's actually GIANT crocodiles!

Disclaimer: I swear to god, the only reason I watched the movie is because it was on HBO and I didn't have anything else to do. I bear no responsibility.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Damn. You really don't know what lurks beneath the dark polluted waters of Lake Erie....I shall be so very nervous from now on.....Killer perch....or something. HAHAHA, this is random, but I did see a turkey once on a beach near Lorain. That was weird. It dive bombed my car. And then my boyfriends car a week later.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Lake Erie is dangerous!

Actually, someone once told me this story about how a girl was sitting on a dock with her feet in the water. She had on a sparkly toe ring, and it attracted a barracuda, which came and bit her and pulled her into the water and she lost her whole leg. I thought about that every time I went in Lake Erie for years, and was terrified. But, uh, I don't know if barracuda even live in Lake Erie, so someone was probably just trying to scare me when I was 8.

Killer turkeys! They want revenge for centuries of Thanksgivings.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

You know, my father told me that there were stories of barracuda lurking beneath the waves of Erie. I have no idea if that's true or not, but I was swimming in Lake Erie at Kelly's island when I was little and this huge mass of tangled black hair floated past my leg. I have not returned to the torpid, grossness of that particular lake since.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's pretty skeezy. I'm always steeping on seaweed (lakeweed?) and freaking myself out. But there's not a hell of a lot of other options for beaches in Ohio.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Indeed. I just sorta sit on the beach and look at the water. Although some one told me it's cleaner than ever now. Still doesn't make me feel so great.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I've heard that too. I still wouldn't drink the water or anything, but at least I don't have to worry about my potential children having extra limbs.

And hey, on the beach you can build sand castles! Plus, you have to walk, like, half a mile out from most of the beaches to get into deep water anyway, which is just annoying.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Yes, there are advantages to being on the beach :). Although as far as Lake Erie is concerend, in the words of Bender "I'm boned" as I eat Lake Erie perch whenever I can get it. Which is often.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Heh. I just spend all of my time at Cedar Point when I'm there lately. Not that high-speed upside-down loops are better for my health, really.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Halloweekends in October was the last time I went to Cedar Point. It was a good night as my father bought be funnel cake and I did not puke it up when we went on the Raptor. Which my dad is supah proud of wiring.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

So jealous! I've always wanted to go to Halloweekends, but haven't. I usually go in the middle of the summer. And go your dad!

Have you been on the new race car coaster? I really want to, but everytime I'm there it's either closed or has a four-hour wait.

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

I'm almost positive barracuda are salt-water fish, and need tropical water at that.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Actually there are tropical barracuda, which means that they are fresh water. However, it is still highly unlikely that they are swimming around Lake Erie, but my dad and his diving buddies talked about them all the time.

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

Hey, I didn't know that. All I knew about was the tropical ones then. Isn't there a football team or something that are barracudas?

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

In fish speak, tropical usually denotes fresh water (warm fresh water that must have specific mineral contents and PH) but fresh water. If the fish is marine, it is salt-water.

[rayechu.livejournal.com]

Ah I see. When I said tropical I meant warm and closer to the equator, not really in the colder parts of the ocean. But then I read about fish when I was really little and never realized that tropical wasn't connected with the saline content. I wonder why the pet stores insist on call the non-freshwater fish "tropical" then, as it is slightly confusing.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think you're right. In Florida, or something.

Wikipedia says that there's 26 different species of barracuda, so even if Lake Erie does have some, I'm sure it's a tiny, boring kind.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Yup. If any can survive the pollution. The type I was thinking of come from the Amazon and other rivers in South America, which is where most of the fresh water fish one puts in fresh water fish tanks come from.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Dude. People keep barracuda as pets? Wouldn't it eat all the other fish in the tank?

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Um, it depends on how your tank is set up. If you feed them enough they won't eat the other fish...usually. Although I know that a lot of people that keep fish like that just stock the tank with fish that are non-prey. You have to be careful when you stock a fish tank or pond anyways, because even the types of fish we don't normally associate with killing other fish can be a problem. I had a zebra fish that was so aggressive it killed everything in the tank but the little bottom skimming fish the species of which I can't recall.

[darkelf105.livejournal.com]

Oh, the boyfriend informs me that there might not be barracuda in Lake Erie, but there are muskie, which is like a pike and that might explain all of the stories with toes being eaten and what not. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskellunge

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Ugh. That is an ugly looking fish. I'm not sure I wouldn't rather have barracuda.