Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

[brigdh]

I want to update, but I have nothing to say. That... sort of creates a problem.

I decided that I was going to buy cigarettes last weekend (and I swear to god, if one more person I tell this story to responds with "You! Smoking? I can't believe it!" I'm going to... attempt to change my image as a total innocent, apparently). I'd never actually smoked one. I've frequented a hookah place on campus, and I've smoked other, um, things, if you know what I mean, but never cigarettes, for whatever reason. My mom and grandparents smoke, so it wasn't something cool that I needed to rebel and do.

But I like to try new things. Over long periods of time, it starts to bug me if there's something I could do but never have: what if I really liked it? What if I needed to write about it? What if I never got the chance to try it again? Plus, I think I sort of wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

So, my decision: I like everything about smoking except the actual smoking. I like holding a cigarette; I like lighting it and feeling suave; I like having something to do with my hands and having an accessory to my every gesture and statement. And it magnifies your personality enormously. If you smoke while smiling and looking friendly, it seems like every person who walks by wants to come over and bum a light and chat. If you want to be left alone, smoking with a scowl will cause people to cross the street to get away from you. I really like the excuse to simply stand around outside, in the sunshine or watching the clouds or looking out to the city's skyline. Try doing that without a cigarette in hand and people start to give you weird looks. I like the way it smells while the cigarettes lit; for some reason I can't explain, something about it reminds me of apples.

But I don't like the way the smoke tastes like ashes in my mouth: warm and dry and curiously soft. It makes my throat hurt. And I don't like the way it makes me smell. It seems to take about ten minutes for the enjoyment of the smell to fade, and then suddenly I realize it's in my hair it's in my clothes it's on my skin I can't stop smelling it get it off nownownow. And I don't have the time for three emergency showers a day.

I don't think I'd make a good smoker; I'm too cheap, in the end. But if there was a cigarette that you didn't have to smoke, but could just hold while it burned, I'd be all about that.

Comments

[b-hallward.livejournal.com]

But if there was a cigarette that you didn't have to smoke, but could just hold while it burned, I'd be all about that.

Word.

I could never stand the smell, either -- though I suppose you'd stop noticing after a while. Still, thought of me and everything I own being permeated with cigarette... *shudder*

[goddessgrrrrl.livejournal.com]

I actually feel the exact same way about smoking... I loved the social aspects of it, the way it looks, etc, but it's just so gorsh darned bad for you and expensive, I couldn't keep up with it for long.

For a party-time accessory, try cloves. They don't taste as bad, aren't as addictive, and smell good.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Oh, the stench. Yeeees. I have asthma so it never really appealed anyway, but the visuals of smoking are so hot.

[kohakutenshi.livejournal.com]

I like the way you described the taste. I can actually taste that...!

I've never smoked, and though I would like to try it, I don't think I should. Not the whole dependancy thing, I'm not one to fall for that easily. But the whole allergy/weak lungs thing.

My luck, one cigarette and I'd die! X.x

*ahem* Yeah... But I love standing around other smokers so maybe that's just as bad, if not worse. XD

[wolfpilot06.livejournal.com]

Aren't there clove cigarettes...? Maybe try those instead? =)

Cigarette smoke makes me cough, and one of my sisters is allergic to me. I don't really think it's anything I'd ever try, 'cause I can't stand the smell of it

**Wolf**

[eag.livejournal.com]

1. Expensive
2. Cancer
3. Secondhand smoke is a health hazard to other people, esp. children.
4. Addictive
5. Cancer
6. Cancer

Should I go on? :p

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

I know, they're so pretty in your hands. And nicotine has a good rep as a fun sort of drug.

But they do smell disgusting, and they make everybody who goes near them smell disgusting, and it's not worth it. Everything you gain on the pretty side you lose on the smelling bad side, and more: it's a net loss on general attractiveness.

Plus, I once shared a hospital room with a woman who was dying of lung cancer. That lasted two days, after which madam my mother swooped in and informed the hospital administration that nobody could possibly recover from anything while sharing a room with that poor woman, and frightened them into moving me into a lovely private room with a park view instead. I'd go into details, but you don't want to hear them. Just trust me: it's worse than you probably think.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I think that must be it- you get so accustomed to it that you simply stop noticing the smell. Of course, everyone around you can still smell it...

My mom used to hide her smoking from us, and then was also so surprised when the entire rest of the family always knew when she'd been sneaking cigarettes. She'd swear that there was nothing left to smell, but we could tell.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Several people have suggested cloves. I could try them, but really, the only smoke I actually like is the flavored stuff at Shi-Sha Lounge. (Did you ever go there? We totally should have taken you; it's so cool.)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Exactly! They need to invent a way to smoke that's got all the look and feel of it, but none of the taste or smell. I need to find some scientists to suggest this to.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^^

My little brother has asthma, so he feels the same way you do- doesn't want to take the chance on ending up in the hopsital just for a freaking cigarette.

And hee. I know other people who are second-hand smokers like that.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yep, there are. Though I haven't tried them myself, I've smelled other people smoking them and I don't think they're really all that much of an improvement.

I don't like the smell much either. But I dunno, I just wanted to try! I'm weird, I suppose.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I know, I know. But I don't have any intention of making a habit of smoking; I just wanted to try it once, since I never had. The best way to defeat temptation is to give in, y'know?

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I didn't particularly notice any effect from the nicotine. At least, I didn't feel less stressed or more mellow or less hungry after smoking, and I'm not sure what other effects nicotine are supposed to have. Maybe you have to be more used to it before it's noticeable.

God, yes, that must have been awful. I'm far too terrified of addicition- I don't like needing anything- to really have to worry about smoking enough to develop lung cancer, but it's still a horrifying way to die.

By the way, did Rana hook you up with Saiyuki? Because if she's busy, I can help. Or if you have seen it, you must tell me what you think!

[eag.livejournal.com]

The best way to defeat temptation is to give in, y'know?

Never heard of that one. But I do know people (including a great-aunt, and a coworker) who are dying of emphysema after years of smoking.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

You haven't? The idea is that, if you purposefully avoid something, you keep thinking about it and wondering about it and building it up in your mind, and it becomes more and more important and more and more tempting, until you inevitably fall and destroy yourself. Whereas if you just try something, you'll see that it's not as great as it's made out to be, and you can forget it and go on with your life.

I mean, I have no intention of actually becoming a smoker. I just wanted to see what it was like.

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

I'm told that nicotine's extremely noticeable. Maybe you're relatively immune, or have one of those paradoxical reactions, like the person I know who falls asleep if he takes amphetamines? But it's probably just as well not to know, and in any case, if I were going to experiment, I'd use a delivery vehicle other than cigarettes.

No, I haven't heard back from Rana on Saiyuki yet. I have the sense that she's pretty overwhelmed right now, so I hadn't wanted to bug her about it. Especially since, as I keep telling myself, it's not as if I don't have things I should finish before falling hard for another set of characters. But if you can hook me up, I'm not going to say no.

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

My mom smoked all through my childhood.

The first time I went to see my father (I hadn't seen him in at least 8 years), I borrowed my mom's suitcase, packed up all my clothes for a week, and headed to Florida. I took my stuff into my dad's apartment, popped open the suitcase, and was almost bowled over by how awful everything smelled. My dad hadn't smoked in years and I didn't know how much I stank from being around my mom until that moment.

[xandria.livejournal.com]

*insert I've been smoke free for 11 years speech and it's bad for you but...*

More menthol 120s... dark, slender, cool and yummy.

*runs away now*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

It's possible I could be immune- I don't have much of a reaction to caffeine, either, and have gone to sleep immediately after drinking coffee without problems.

Ah, Saiyuki. So freaking confusing to explain. There's a manga and an anime and a movie; start with the manga, because it's better. Or so I hear- in truth, I've only seen the first five episodes of the anime, so I don't have much of an opinion on it yet myself.

There are three series in the manga: Saiyuki (sometimes you'll see it called Gensoumaden Saiyuki, after the first series of the anime), Saiyuki Reload, and Saiyuki Gaiden. Saiyuki comes first. There are nine volumes of it, and eight have come out in America from Tokyopop already, though the eighth just came out a few weeks ago, and it might still be hard to find. Or at least, it took me long enough to get to a bookstore carrying it. *laughs* They're worth the price of buying them, because the translation is very good, and the art's so pretty that it's nice to have a larger copy of it. And I personally much prefer reading books to scans on the computer, but that might just be me. All Yousendit links:
Volume One (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2T6R67G4D00GV340I2Q21GX5N8) | Two (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1OFLP7Y9Z82VB0COJYEAEFT9IS) | Three (http://s47.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0BTJ2P3K9JAQF177SRKXU0WKR5) | Four (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=36DUXBBXGXIDO040G46ORELB5O) | Five (http://s51.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=20F9W1H1BGVI12I86B1NGLRPY8) | Six (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=344Q2NBFHX7J10KP9MVX6NAB9H) | Seven (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=2DL5M7UOCRSR204ETUJKURP3LZ) | Eight (http://s44.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0P6RNVKCJH9FQ0LKH5FAW4LLQU) | Nine (http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=09NJP5SY4L5FH31WJ1GNM54UA2)

After that, there's Saiyuki Gaiden, which you can read either before or after Reload. Gaiden is sort of the backstory to Saiyuki; it takes place five hundred years earlier, but it's connected to the main plotline. There's only one volume of it out so far, but Minekura, the mangaka, is still putting out new chapters, so eventually there'll be more.
Saiyuki Gaiden (http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=05UXCA27FOTZ61KPL5TMPWLHVT)

Saiyuki Reload continues the same story as Saiyuki; the name change just has to do with Minekura switching publishing companies. There's four volumes so far, but it's also still coming out. Tokyopop has licensed this, and it'll start coming out in English in the summer.
Volume One (http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0POWDIIKSRQSZ3THG4BS6QXM5Z) | Two (http://s41.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0LFJR7BRHL2202G4AWF1L3V20E) | Three (http://s40.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=23F9XQEM2IG2J37G7K83V0HRQ6) | Four (http://s40.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3JBMMDZ5AM5BF2ZVV5LBRH99W4)

[tbc...]

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

There's also a movie, called Saiyuki Requiem, which is very good. It's a sidestory to the main plot, but to understand it, you'll need to have read the first five or so volumes of manga. The anime also has three series: Gensomaden Saiyuki (which has 50 episodes), Saiyuki Reload (with 25 episodes), and Saiyuki Gunlock (26 episodes and counting). They're all based on the manga, but since there's so many more of them, they have additional storylines and characters. Reload and Gunlock have bit-torrents running at anime-kraze (http://www.anime-kraze.org/index.php?page=releases), but Gensomaden has been licensed, so your best bet is to try and rent the DVDs from somewhere.

Saiyuki is based on 'Journey to the West', which is a 3,500 year old story popular throughout East Asia. It tells how a Buddhist monk was sent to India to bring back a sutra. He was accompanied by a pig, a river demon (or kappa, in Japanese), and the famous Monkey King- which is the origin of the insults the characters use for each other. Saiyuki has about as much relation to the original as O Brother Where Art Thou does to The Odyssey.

Saiyuki fandom has a few weird conventions, the biggest of which is using numbers instead of character names to label stories. For instance, if you started looking for a fic about, say, Gojyo and Hakkai, you'll want to look for things labeled 58.
Gojyo=5, Hakkai=8, Sanzo=3, and Goku=9. This is because each of their names sounds vaguely like the numbers in Japanese, but I think it's just annoying.

Um, the only other thing I can think of to mention is to say: don't give up if you don't like the first volume. It didn't strike me as particularly interesting, and I wouldn't have continued reading if I hadn't trusted that everyone must like it for some reason. The first volume's much more Shounen that the others; there's a lot of pointless fighting and nameless bad guys. Afterwards, you get into interesting characterization and situations and backstories, and it becomes much better.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I just tried Marlboros, because my mom smokes Camels and that was the only other brandname I knew. But hey, don't tempt me to smoke more!

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks! I agree with you about the benefits of having a book to hold in your hands, as opposed to reading off a screen; but I'm also greedy and fond of instant gratification, and this is so very much faster than finding a time to go to a bookstore and picking them up. Yes, yes, there's always Amazon. But I feel that I should support local independent bookstores whenever possible, no matter how irritating and inconvenient this can sometimes be. Honestly, I sometimes think that if I live long enough, eventually I will be unable to undertake any normal commercial transaction at all: no matter what it is, some one of my political principles will interfere with it.

I'll take your warnings about the first volume under advisement. Now, check out shiny new thing immediately, or try to work on fic? What to do, what to do?

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Plus, of course, there's always the reluctance to spend $10 a volume on something you don't know yet if you'll want, which is a big part of why I haven't tried out nearly as many new series as I'd like.

Ah, a choice between getting you into Saiyuki or getting new fic from you! I'm afraid I can't help any with that decision. *grins*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

It was never that bad for me, because my mom tended to smoke away from us, but I'd get the same thing if I'd spent a while at my grandparents. I remember once, when I was very little, hiding my face in one of the pillows of their couch, and then breathing in. The nicotine dust of so many years was embedded in that fabric that I came up choking and gagging.

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

Well my mom quit cold turkey many moons ago so now I don't have to deal with it.

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

Cloves are actually worse for your lungs than regular cigarettes.

(but hell, I thought about smoking them myself because I think they smell good. however, last time I tried smoking I almost vomited -- I was, like, 10 -- so I'd rather not try again)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Huh, really? How come? Higher tar or something?

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

I'm just popping back in to say that I'm now halfway through Volume 2, and I definitely see the point. It is perhaps not exactly the same point that everybody else sees, since it is not yet clear to me why the OTP is not Sanzo and Hakkai (if it isn't, as the icon says, Sanzo and his gun). But, ahhh, Sanzo. He's so appealling in his violence and exasperation and hopeless desire to be left alone.

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think so. And they're not filtered.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I love Sanzo so very, very much. I'm rather fond of the Hakkai/Sanzo myself, though really, I'll read anything with Sanzo in it, but the most popular OTP of the series seems to be Gojyo/Hakkai.

But I'm so happy you're liking it! I always worry when I reccommend things.