First and Last lines
May. 15th, 2014 12:52 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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dhampyresa: The first lines and last lines of my fic. I just did my most recent ten (skipping over the fic requests I did, since they didn't get beta'd or have much time spent on them), mostly because that seemed like a good number.
1. Principia Parva Sunt
January decided, as he took the first sip of the gin the fiddler had offered him, that getting drunk would be a wonderful idea.
-
“I’ll hold you to that,” Hannibal said, and put out his hand to shake.
2. So Many Are the Crossings and the Roads
They’d put him in the dungeon, and then they’d left, and Benjamin was beginning to think they would never come back.
-
“Welcome home,” she said.
3. All the Daughters of My Father's House
They had been married less than a year when Kit entered her bedroom late one afternoon to find Jude there alone, holding her armoire door open and reaching inside to caress a muslin skirt.
-
He smiled up at her, mussed and hazy-eyed and imperfect, and Kit was entirely happy with her marriage.
4. Ain't Gonna Waste My Pleasures
Today’s batch of moonshine was likely ruined, pulled off the flame half-finished when the low grey clouds had begun piling up on the horizon.
-
“But if Willie wasn’t real, where do you think I got my first still from?”
5. Recovery
Hannibal’s breathing changed; after a moment he opened his eyes, squinted, and slowly turned his head.
-
"I know," Rose said, folding her hands in her lap, but he had been asleep for some time before she rose from the bed.
6. Nothing Better or More Delightful
January knocked a second time on the door and waited; he’d almost given up and stepped away when he heard Hannibal’s faint “Ine.”
-
“Oh, I can think of a few things,” said January, and smiled.
7. With the Help of Your Good Hands
Hannibal was gone when January woke, though his jacket and waistcoat were still on the floor where he’d left them, crumpled from having been used as a pillow.
-
January hadn’t been sure he would, but didn’t comment on it; he only draped his leg across Hannibal’s and was quickly asleep.
8. Again to See the Stars
Walking back from the AFC camp, they passed a spot where the scattered stands of cottonwoods grew dense, reaching nearly to the trampled grass of the path; Hannibal checked his stride, looked around, and caught January by the wrist to pull him off the trail, all without a word.
-
He touched Hannibal’s cheek, softly; Hannibal turned into the contact, bringing his mouth to January’s hand, and January could feel his smile, felt how it grew stronger before he pressed another kiss to January’s fingers.
9. Cease to Mourn the Ravish'd Hair
January arrived home in the blue twilight of early evening, the time of day when lights were just beginning to warm the windows he passed along the street.
-
“Now let’s see how long I can keep the both of you from thinking about dyes.”
10. False Speaking
"Tell me how you killed him," Alec says.
-
Richard catches at him, fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulders, the soft fall of his hair, and then there is nothing more to say.
Hmmm, I'm not sure there's much of a pattern. I do have a lot of dialogue in the last lines! I was not doing that on purpose, but I suppose it is often a good way to wrap things up. The first lines seem to often be quite long and convoluted. I usually try to use the first line to make it very clear who's POV the story will be in, but several of these totally fail at that. Especially Recovery, since that's in Rose's POV and she doesn't appear in the sentence at all! For both first and last sentences (and probably just in general) I think I might use way too many semicolons.
dhampyresa: The first lines and last lines of my fic. I just did my most recent ten (skipping over the fic requests I did, since they didn't get beta'd or have much time spent on them), mostly because that seemed like a good number.1. Principia Parva Sunt
January decided, as he took the first sip of the gin the fiddler had offered him, that getting drunk would be a wonderful idea.
-
“I’ll hold you to that,” Hannibal said, and put out his hand to shake.
2. So Many Are the Crossings and the Roads
They’d put him in the dungeon, and then they’d left, and Benjamin was beginning to think they would never come back.
-
“Welcome home,” she said.
3. All the Daughters of My Father's House
They had been married less than a year when Kit entered her bedroom late one afternoon to find Jude there alone, holding her armoire door open and reaching inside to caress a muslin skirt.
-
He smiled up at her, mussed and hazy-eyed and imperfect, and Kit was entirely happy with her marriage.
4. Ain't Gonna Waste My Pleasures
Today’s batch of moonshine was likely ruined, pulled off the flame half-finished when the low grey clouds had begun piling up on the horizon.
-
“But if Willie wasn’t real, where do you think I got my first still from?”
5. Recovery
Hannibal’s breathing changed; after a moment he opened his eyes, squinted, and slowly turned his head.
-
"I know," Rose said, folding her hands in her lap, but he had been asleep for some time before she rose from the bed.
6. Nothing Better or More Delightful
January knocked a second time on the door and waited; he’d almost given up and stepped away when he heard Hannibal’s faint “Ine.”
-
“Oh, I can think of a few things,” said January, and smiled.
7. With the Help of Your Good Hands
Hannibal was gone when January woke, though his jacket and waistcoat were still on the floor where he’d left them, crumpled from having been used as a pillow.
-
January hadn’t been sure he would, but didn’t comment on it; he only draped his leg across Hannibal’s and was quickly asleep.
8. Again to See the Stars
Walking back from the AFC camp, they passed a spot where the scattered stands of cottonwoods grew dense, reaching nearly to the trampled grass of the path; Hannibal checked his stride, looked around, and caught January by the wrist to pull him off the trail, all without a word.
-
He touched Hannibal’s cheek, softly; Hannibal turned into the contact, bringing his mouth to January’s hand, and January could feel his smile, felt how it grew stronger before he pressed another kiss to January’s fingers.
9. Cease to Mourn the Ravish'd Hair
January arrived home in the blue twilight of early evening, the time of day when lights were just beginning to warm the windows he passed along the street.
-
“Now let’s see how long I can keep the both of you from thinking about dyes.”
10. False Speaking
"Tell me how you killed him," Alec says.
-
Richard catches at him, fingers digging into the flesh of his shoulders, the soft fall of his hair, and then there is nothing more to say.
Hmmm, I'm not sure there's much of a pattern. I do have a lot of dialogue in the last lines! I was not doing that on purpose, but I suppose it is often a good way to wrap things up. The first lines seem to often be quite long and convoluted. I usually try to use the first line to make it very clear who's POV the story will be in, but several of these totally fail at that. Especially Recovery, since that's in Rose's POV and she doesn't appear in the sentence at all! For both first and last sentences (and probably just in general) I think I might use way too many semicolons.
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no subject
Date: 2014-05-15 11:33 pm (UTC)I still don't know how semi-colons work, sadly.
no subject
Date: 2014-05-16 04:19 pm (UTC)I only started using them about five years ago, and since I started using them just by copying other people, I may very well be unaware of some Very Important Rules and making all sorts of mistakes.