MAKE IT STOP

[brigdh]

AHH OH GOD.

So, apparently this coffeeshop has writers come in and read their work every other Thursday (or something like that; I'm not certain of what the schedule is), and currently someone is reading a story about the Terrible Tragedy of a little Mormon girl becoming the seventh wife of an old man (yeah, there's an original concept).

And it features lines like "they peered between my legs to be sure I was still pure" and "'Pretty child,' he said, 'pretty, pretty child'" and spiders in people's mouths and something about goat-suckers, I don't even want to know, I'm turning my headphones up higher.

AHH OH GOD.

And because it makes me feel like less of a terrible person, buy this story and others here

Comments

[kessie.livejournal.com]

This is why I read my work out in front of people once, and once only. *cries*

Still, though. Mormons. Pfft. Be more original!

[chthonicsiren.livejournal.com]

This was posted today on a Columbia blog, about Think Coffee. :>

http://www.bwog.net/index.php?page=post&article_id=3136#comments

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hee. I think, sometimes, about doing what I've seen other people do, and making a voice post to read one of my shorter stories, but I don't like the way my voice sounds, and so haven't.

I know! There is, like, an entire genre of stories and novels about the traumatic experiences of poor, sensitive girls and women trapped! and abused! in these insular, isolated communities, and every. single. one. reads the exact same way. I don't know what's up with that.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

::breathes fire::

Dear random coffeehouse wannabe artiste,

We. Don't. Practice. Polygamy. If you're gonna appropriate a culture, at least research it, yo.

No love,

The Mormon What Writes Boysex Because We Are Not All the Same

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

Oh, good God. I think I remember them saying it was going to be a regular thing, but my brain must have shied away from the concept in horror. It was relatively easy to ignore when the place was packed, and when the acoustics were such that as long as we stayed in our little corner it was possible to have an independent conversation without disrupting anything, but it would be different if one were trying to work. For values of "work" that include trying to write, or listen to music, or, well, anything.

It must be every other Wednesday. Wednesday, yes, because you had that barn dance to go to on Thursday, and I was leaving town on Friday.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I did think of you! Along with every other Mormon I've known, none of whom- forget polygamy- had any interest in raping 15-year-olds.

[ravenbell.livejournal.com]

I'm having a flashback to my high school literary arts club, and that one creepy chick's poem about the kiddie pornographer that just. Wouldn't. END.

My sympathies.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

It's been a regular thing since at least the fall, though I'm not certain it's always been on Wednesdays (because yes, you're right, it's Wednesday. I don't know why I was thinking today was Thursday), or on any coherent schedule, really. It just varies in how ignorable it is, or how mind-bogglingly awful the stories are, or if I happen to even be there.

The noise and theatrics of it don't bother me, but there does seem to be a tendency for me to catch sentences that are so terrible I have to stop and laugh for several minutes. Or flail in horror.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Oh, cool! Thank you.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Ooo, yuck. And that was probably even worse, because I imagine it would have been a bit rude for you to roll your eyes, grimace and pointedly turn up the volume on your headphones. You actually had to listen to it!

[keelieinblack.livejournal.com]

Ooh, this reminds me of rachelmanija's worst sit-down reading (http://rachelmanija.livejournal.com/290122.html) story. Truly a sink-into-the-carpet event.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah. We earned our wild reputation as a party religion with our fondness for the underage smex! @@

There are polygamists in Utah and Idaho. Some of them used to be LDS (because you get excommunicated, see, if you practice polygamy). Some of them use the excuse to barter their daughters to each other. This is because some people are scum, full stop. Anybody who thinks this is some kind of story-worthy revelation has been living under a rock. Not one in Utah or Idaho, though, or they'd at least know the thing about the polygamy.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hee, I love that story. The story Rachel heard far outdoes mine in terms of sheer embarrassing outrageousness, though.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Anybody who thinks this is some kind of story-worthy revelation has been living under a rock.

Yes. Not that I think every story has to be a Paragon of Original Insight (whatever that means, anyway), but once something has been the topic of five million episodes of Oprah and other afternoon talkshows, you're not really bringing anything interesting to the table by doing another rendition, "hey, didja hear about this? That would really suck, huh? Huh? Her life is full of woooe!" Especially if you're not even going to bother to find out enough about the actual situation to realize that polygamy hasn't been accepted in the religion for generations.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Word. Pie.

[redshoeson.livejournal.com]

Nightmares. Big ol' nightmares.

I BLAME YOU.

:P

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hahaha! Really? Man, I didn't have nightmares, and I'm the one who actually heard the story!