I can do bitter and sad, but happy-to-be-at-holiday-party, not so much

[brigdh]

The question of the moment is whether or not I want to go to the party I've been invited to tonight. On the one hand, social interaction would probably be good for me. On the other hand, I'm not certain I can pull off "not having a breakdown" yet.

Either way, I have to decide right now, since it's not polite to shuttle everyone into voicemail and then refuse to call back until five minutes before the party starts. I've already put it off for four or five hours.

What I really want to do is go back to bed for a while, but I'm sure that it is just so healthy not to leave my room all day.

Comments

[veleda-k.livejournal.com]

I'm probably biased, since I can go for days without leaving the house, but it doesn't sound like you're up to going to a party. I don't think there's anything wrong with staying home for a day while grieving.

I'm incredibly anti-social though, so you should probably get a second opinion.

[p-zeitgeist.livejournal.com]

You know, going to a holiday-themed party and pretending nothing has happened is a lot to demand of yourself. Social interaction might be good, but -- well, this is one of the rare downsides to moving to New York. Ideally, people would come by with cookies or casseroles and would be prepared to leave as soon as you showed any sign of needing to go lie down. But in New York, in December? Even when you've built a good social network people aren't in town for long enough to do it.

The internet is a wonderful thing, but somehow LJ-transmitted virtual casseroles and cookies don't work as well as I'd like them to. Not that this stops me from attempting to bring them by anyway.

[solo.livejournal.com]

If you don't want to go, don't go. You're under no obligation. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in your room all day for a day under normal circumstances (I do it a lot and it keeps me sane), and you are grieving so your circumstances aren't even normal. Do what feels best to you right now.

This is probably coming, like, an hour too late to be even useful, but never mind.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

True, but I feel like it'll just be harder if I let myself wait for too long before trying to talk to people. Besides, it's just down the block, so I can always leave early.

Ha. Well, I appreciate even the virtual kind of cookies.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. But on the other hand, I do sorta want to go be with people. Of course, I'd much rather have some close friends take me to a movie or something instead of going to a party with a bunch of mostly-strangers, but well, it's better than nothing.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've definitely had days before where I didn't go anywhere, but it seems like it's more normal if it just happens accidentally than if I actually plan to stay here. I worry that it'll just get harder to deal with anyone if I keep putting it off.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but I feel like it'd be better for me to go do something. I worry that I'm going to get really depressed if I stay here.

Ha, perfectly in time, actually. I'd called her, but got her voice mail and didn't want to leave a message, so now I am hanging around waiting for enough time to pass to call again.

[rachelmanija.livejournal.com]

You're allowed to stay in your room all day sometimes. If you don't feel up to it, I think you should stay home.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I wish we lived closer together, too! And not just because it's cooooooooold here, whiiiiiiiiine.

...I like candy. Aw, but I'd feel all guilty if I made you send me some! It's so far.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I'd been planning to go, and now it started an hour ago and I just don't feel like it. Ah, well. Maybe I'll go see a movie.

[childofatlantis.livejournal.com]

Stay home. Sometimes you just need to. *hugs*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you. And yeah, I ended up going to see a movie, instead.