So. Much. Hate.

[brigdh]

Oh god, the people sitting at the table next to me in this coffeeshop are killing me. Two of them are deliberately isolating the third: doing that thing when you ignore anything they say except for a direct question, and even then leave a pause just a little too long before answering with a dismissal, body language turned away, randomly laughing to yourself when nothing funny has been said. And the third guy realizes they're doing it, but keeps trying to fix things- "So, will you call me later?" "Hey, want to go get something to eat?" "What did you do last night?" "Do you promise you'll call me later?"- which just makes it more painful, because, dude, they are obviously assholes. You don't need to go begging after their attention.

It would make me furious if someone did that to me. It would make me furious even if I was in the group not being isolated, because I loathe people who amuse themselves on cruelty. You are neither bored courtiers nor high school girls, so if you dislike someone you have an obligation to not take them places with you for the sole purpose of insulting them.

Argh.

Comments

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, that would make me completely insane. I wouldn't be able to stand it. WTF? Why do people have to be such utter assholes? *Seethes*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I've seen people do it before, and it seriously drives me crazy. And it's hard to call people on it, because it's relatively subtle, but it is so infuriating.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'd probably say something to the two assholes, something like, "Hey, guys, good job on that subtle thing. I'm sure he has no idea what incredible jerks you are," and then nod and roll your eyes conspiratorially at the mistreated guy. But to be fair that's what I might do now in my mid 30s. *Hugs you for caring about some poor guy you don't even know*

[goddessgrrrrl.livejournal.com]

You should tell the guy who's begging after their affection that he's wayyyy too cool for such asshats.

Easier said than done, though.

Gah, what shits. I hope they step in dog crap on their way home.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

In situations where I've been involved in this sort of thing before, I usually deal by pointedly not ignoring the mistreated one and repeatedly turning the conversation back to include them, if necessary to the extent of saying, "Hey, why don't you and I go do *whatever activity I can take them away to that will not involve the assholes*".

But when I'm only overhearing random strangers, I'm less confident about saying anything, because I have no idea of what the group dynamics and relationships are there. I mean, it certainly seems like what's happening is two people being jerks and one being made a fool of, but there could be more going on that I'm unaware of.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I hope he realizes that he doesn't need to let people treat him like that.

Dog shit would totally be an appropriate punishment.

[wesleysgirl.livejournal.com]

That's true, it's hard to be sure what's going on when it's a random thing without any context. *Many hugs*

[parallactic.livejournal.com]

Ouch. I hate subtle snubs like that.

[lucifrix.livejournal.com]

I feel sad for that third guy. I had a thing happen when I was in high school where I went to a big event and, even though I am usually very good at meeting people, even if just to be buddies for the day, I just could not seem to connect with anyone, and I was so alone. I ended up taking a book into a stairwell and reading for most of the day, and trying not to cry.

[kessie.livejournal.com]

That happened to me once. I was with this group of girls who didn't like me, and one of them actually started talking about me with me there because I was keeping quiet and she didn't know I was with them. :| Worst experience ever.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

*growly hugs!*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Me too. They're almost worse than direct insults, because they make people unsure of how to respond.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey. That would be the worst experience ever. *hugs*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Aw, that's terrible. I'm so sorry. People suck sometimes.

[lucifrix.livejournal.com]

Well, that's the thing--I don't think any of the people I didn't "click" with that day had anything against me personally, I think sometimes these things just happen. This guy, though, these people are supposed to be his friends, so it's got to hurt much more. Poor guy. Makes me want to be his friend.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

That's so, but it does seem like sometimes the worst things that happen to people are the things that aren't really anyone's fault, not in particular.

But you're right: these assholes are way more annoying than any random person who just minds their own business instead of helping.