Stuff

[brigdh]

Oh my God. I have spent the last several hours reading about monkey balls, and I am so disturbed. Why did I let you people convince me to take the primate class?

Still. Hamilton and Arrowood (1978) found that calls given toward the end of copulation by promiscuously mating savanna baboons were structurally more complex than those given either by monogamous pairs of gibbons or by human couples? There is no way sentences like that are not funny. I can't stop imagining scientists in lab coats with clipboards gathering all three species in the same lab.

On an entirely different subject, I've come to a conclusion about my favorite character types: I act exactly like them when sick. This has been the last few days:

My body: Sleeping for fifteen straight hours seems like a good idea! Also, hey- nothing hurts when you're unconscious.
Me: Whatever. I am clearly competent to go to class, nor do I need medicine. Um. Why do I understand nothing of what's going on around me? And why are the walls spinning?
My body: Sleeeeeeeeep.
Me: Ch. It's been a day since the last time I tried to do anything, I must be better by now. Besides, I'm bigger than virii, so I can squish them. I think I'll go stand around for an hour or two, listen to speeches, and have awkward conversations with people I don't know well! ...or I could try it and almost pass out.

Not that this is news to anyone who's watched me when sick before, but I never thought of it that way. Although I have always stopped before actually collapsing, unlike my beloved characters well, except for that one time, but I didn't lose consciousness so it doesn't count. Though if my sudden tendency to run, jump, spin and skip just for the hell of it is any indication, I am finally better. Except for the random coughing of disgusting things from my lungs, but that will pass.

Comments

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

METAQUOTE PLZ

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Ha! Sure! It's my life's goal to be metaquoted a bunch.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Having actually grown up around field biologists and lived in the field: they think those sentences are as funny as you do. :D

And they're more likely to be in jeans, sturdy hiking boots, and a camp shirt, and are probably sunburned, grumpy, covered in bug bits, probably coming down with malaria, and thinking wistfully of the beer back at camp when they're making those observations.

But there is indeed a clipboard or notebook of some kind present. And possibly a stopwatch. XD

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hee! See, that reminds me of my archaeology field school last summer; all the best science is done when dirty, annoyed, and lost in the middle of a forest.

...though we probably had more rock chips and less sexy monkeys.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Exactly! :D One couple we knew who were stydying lions at the time spent the night in an upside-down Land Rover with lions on top of it. XD They followed the pride at night, because that's when the lions move, and they managed to hit a hole and roll the LandRover. This was the most exciting thing the lions had ever seen, of course, and they immediately investigated, then decided to spend the rest of the night there, so the couple just stayed the night there.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

*dies* Man, that is the best scientist story ever. The only close encounter with wildlife I had was with an elk, which is not nearly as cool as a pride of lions.

[telophase.livejournal.com]

My dad was studying bird species in relation to grasses, so we didn't get any really exciting science-related stories.

Well, except for one time - we'd go out and camp for a few days every so often when Dad measured grass and strung up bird nets to get a good idea of the bird population. When the nets had caught birds, he'd go untangle them, record the species and whatever other vital characteristics he recorded, band teh birds, and let them go. And of *that* the most exciting thing was when a pygmy owl got caught in the net and managed to savage two other birds nearby before Dad got it out. He trapped it in a basket, and I remember the beady little evil eyes glaring out at me through the holes in the basket. XD

But that's not the story - the story has to do with lions. We slept in the car - a Toyota, one of the first SUVs - and stored stuff in a big tent. Now, lions are basically big housecats and are curious and not very dangerous on every other night. But they hunt every other night or so, and before the hunt, whent ehy're starting to get hungry and the young males are startignt o get antsy, you don't wanna be near them. But on other nights, when they're well-fed and bored they'll come up and play with the guy wires on your tent and whatnot - some people we knew had woken up to find a lion had clawed a big slit down the back of their tent in the middle of the night.

So ... one evening we're in camp. Mom and Dad are in the tent, which is big enough to stand up in and has one of those flaps that make a porch, which is where we stored our big supply trunk and are trying to light the kerosene stove to cook dinner (hey, it was the 70s, safety wasn't as big of an issue then. :D). Everyone's annoyed at each other and snapping. I had a strong sense of self-preservation and grabbed the flashlight, saying "I'm going to go guard the trunk" and stepped outside.

While I was there, I slowly swung the flashlight back and forth, and right over there, next to the washstand we had set up outside the tent, maybe 10-15 feet away, was a full-grown lioness, sitting there watching the proceedings with interest.

I ran back inside and almost knocked the stove over, which made my parents round on me, until I gasped out "There's a lion out there!" Dinner plans were put aside that evening and I got on my dad's shoulders, Mom carried a bug net above her head to look bigger, and we trouped to the car. A drive-around showed that a pride of lions had settled down in the kopjes (rock formations) right behind our tent for the night, so we just sttled down in the car and stayed there until morning. :)

[childofatlantis.livejournal.com]

... presumably the underside of the Land Rover was nice and warm from the engine? *amused at image of oversized cats sleeping on nice warm car*

[telophase.livejournal.com]

Most likely that was one of the attractions. XD

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Why did I let you people convince me to take the primate class?

Because monkey balls are funny?

Also, I'm another really bad patient, akin to certain beloved characters, but I get downright chatty when hopped up on cold medicine, and grumpily cuddly when I get the chills (as in I glomp onto Senor and complain loudly about what a horrible pillow he is, but don't let go until I get feverish, when I kick him out of the bed for making it too hot, and did I mention the bad patient bit?).

I keep thinking there might be a fic in that.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Because monkey balls are funny?

Well, not in public! Not when reading articles that have illustrations of many different monkey penises and trying not to snicker loudly enough to draw attention!

...okay, yeah, that's pretty funny.

I keep thinking there might be a fic in that.

Hee. Sounds fic-worthy to me.

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Well, not in public!

Are you kidding? They're even funnier in public! Well, I'm sure Sanzo would disagree, but still....

;-)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

And here I was trying not to use any Goku icons because of the massive disruption Goku + monkey balls causes in my brain!

[ranalore.livejournal.com]

Somebody had to say it, and I'm just the person for the job. *G*

[nettlecoats.livejournal.com]

HEE. Part of my anthropology prof's undergraduate thesis, I believe, was using color chips to differentiate shades of estrous baboon butts. I remember hearing the phrase "anogenital swelling" a whooole lot in that class. But we never got illustrations of monkey penises!

Standing around in a jungle in Costa Rica watching monkey sex sounds so much more fun than cell biology. D: *shakes fist at major*

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Ha. Yes, that sounds like something the authors of these articles would do.

...you could go watch hyena sex! Two great tastes that taste great together. Or something.

[nettlecoats.livejournal.com]

Two great tastes that taste great together.

XD I think I just want a professional excuse to escape the lab and get a tan once in my life before I die.

Uuuuh, "professional". Totally. Stipends would probably be in rare supply (as though increasing the base of knowledge about hyena sex won't better mankind!).

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Professional excuses to get tans sounds like a wonderful idea to me! In fact, I think I need to get a grant to, um, watch the grass grow in my front yard. Vitally important, you know.

[redshoeson.livejournal.com]

This message brought to you by the letters O and Y.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Hee.