Writing Prompt #5
Jul. 14th, 2016 02:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brigdh15 minutes on "a stand-up comedy routine". I think this works better if you imagine it being spoken out loud. I mean, as much as it works at all.
So, my apartment building has been having a roach problem lately. There’s only three sections to the building – a store, me, and our upstairs neighbors. The landlord has come and sprayed a few times, but the problem is that the upstairs neighbors won’t let him spray in their apartment. Apparently they have a “baby”, and roach poison “isn’t healthy”. Whatever. Hippies.
The baby’s name is Ursa. When I first heard it, I thought it was Ursula, like the octopus lady from the Little Mermaid cartoon, but no – it’s Ursa. Which means bear. I figure if you name your baby “Bear”, she should be able to handle a little roach poison. It’ll put hair on her chest – or fur, I guess.
Well, forget about the insecticide, I have a natural remedy for roaches. Hippie-approved. I have two pet cats. They were both feral rescues, so I assume they’re used to hunting. If a cat can survive New York City’s subway rats, it can catch a centimeter-sized roach, right?
No. These lazy fucks... I’ve seen them just lay there and watch a roach crawl right over their paws, and they don’t even blink. They’ve learned that food comes out of cans and plastic bags and they don’t need to work for it. Them and the roaches, they’re buddies now. They share any food that touches the floor. If the roaches learn how to scratch their bellies, the cats will abandon me entirely.
So, my apartment building has been having a roach problem lately. There’s only three sections to the building – a store, me, and our upstairs neighbors. The landlord has come and sprayed a few times, but the problem is that the upstairs neighbors won’t let him spray in their apartment. Apparently they have a “baby”, and roach poison “isn’t healthy”. Whatever. Hippies.
The baby’s name is Ursa. When I first heard it, I thought it was Ursula, like the octopus lady from the Little Mermaid cartoon, but no – it’s Ursa. Which means bear. I figure if you name your baby “Bear”, she should be able to handle a little roach poison. It’ll put hair on her chest – or fur, I guess.
Well, forget about the insecticide, I have a natural remedy for roaches. Hippie-approved. I have two pet cats. They were both feral rescues, so I assume they’re used to hunting. If a cat can survive New York City’s subway rats, it can catch a centimeter-sized roach, right?
No. These lazy fucks... I’ve seen them just lay there and watch a roach crawl right over their paws, and they don’t even blink. They’ve learned that food comes out of cans and plastic bags and they don’t need to work for it. Them and the roaches, they’re buddies now. They share any food that touches the floor. If the roaches learn how to scratch their bellies, the cats will abandon me entirely.
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Date: 2016-07-14 07:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-14 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-15 03:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-21 03:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-07-15 08:38 am (UTC)Nice.
I am delurking to say that I fell face-first into the Benjamin January novels earlier this month—I'm about a third of the way into The Shirt on His Back—and as of last night have been enjoying both your fic and your recommendations. Hope you don't mind.
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Date: 2016-07-21 03:36 am (UTC)And of course I don't mind! I am absolutely delighted to meet someone new who's into Benjamin January. I am always totally into talking more about these books.
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Date: 2016-07-21 05:19 am (UTC)I finished Crimson Angel a few nights ago and am waiting for Drinking Gourd to come in to my local library and then I will have to wait for the next one like everyone else (while hoping in the meanwhile that she puts out a book of the collected short stories, because I want to read those). Most of my thoughts on the series are in posts and/or comments scattered throughout the last month, starting here. I am afraid I don't have a system of tags. I imprinted at once on Hannibal, which surprised no one at all, but it has been a great delight to me how much I enjoy the entire rest of the cast.
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Date: 2016-08-22 10:13 pm (UTC)(while hoping in the meanwhile that she puts out a book of the collected short stories, because I want to read those)
The short stories are a lot of fun! Though of course some are better than others. Is the problem for you the ebook format?
I would absolutely buy a collected book of them as well, but I suspect part of the appeal for Hambly is not having to bother going through a publisher.
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Date: 2016-08-22 11:09 pm (UTC)Yes. I strongly don't prefer to read e-books, as well as all of my jobs require constant interaction with screens and I need time away from them. If she self-published a print collection, I'd lay down money for it on the spot.
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Date: 2016-08-26 11:58 pm (UTC)