The professor and I

Perhaps you remember the graduate school professor who wants me to apply to a fellowship of his, and who, when asked for details about the requirements, offered helpful advice such as "write two to three pages".

Let me tell you some more about him, because apparently he's just going to keep producing stories that I'll need to share. At the conference I went to a few weeks ago, he couldn't come because of some last-minute emergency, but had already prepared a Powerpoint presentation, which someone else agreed to read for him. The topic was about as dry and scholarly as you can get: whether the Indus writing system was indeed writing, or only a complicated series of symbols without the widespread applicability of true writing. You may think that such a presentation would be boring, and you would normally be right, if only because professors do not tend to refer to those who disagree with them as "cowards" and their theories as "bullshit", particularly not in 76-point type. With pictures. At several points the host refused to read what was before her, and just blushed and mumbled, "You can see what he thinks about this on the screen. I'd like to state again that I do not necessarily share these views."

Sometime around the point that I stopped howling with laughter, I decided that this was totally the guy I wanted to work with, if only because I have a distressing fondness for giant introverted assholes.

Unfortunately, giant introverted assholes have their downsides. He has an annoying tendency of replying to lengthy emails with a single sentence. Today, he sent me an email which consisted entirely of, "I also need a one page CV from you." Having googled 'CV' to find out that it is, basically, a resume, now I have the problem of finding enough things to fill out a page, given that I have not, you know, published anything, done research, taught anything, or held any job remotely related to the topic.

Applying to grad school is the best! /sarcasm

Catching up on memes

After I was interviewed the first time, wolfpilot06 asked me some more questions.

1) If you were given a life's supply of any one drink, and you couldn't drink ANYTHING else, what would you want it to be? (not water!)
But I like water! It's what I do drink all the time. If I have to choose something else, though, I'll say green tea, because it goes with pretty much everything, and can be hot or cold, depending on the season. My second choice would be orange juice.

2) Given a chance to meet Hisoka OR Tsuzuki, which would you choose to meet?
Hmmm. I suppose Tsuzuki, if only because both Hisoka and I are untalkative and introverted, so meeting him would probably involve a lot of awkward silence.

3) The greater evil: President Bush or Britney Spears/Ashlee Simpson/Jessica Simpson/Hillary Duff/(insert commercialized, industry-produced pop star)?
Heh. Bush. The pop stars may be stupid and soulless, but at least they're not leading countries into war or supporting laws that take away rights.

4) Peppermint or Spearmint? =3
Dude, I can't tell the difference. My gum of choice is Juicy Fruit.

5) What is more important to you: being happy or making others happy?
Hard question. I do a lot to make others happy, but mainly because I have no reason not to; after all, if I genuinely have no preference as to what movie I see one night, why shouldn't I let someone else choose? If it's only going to take me a few minutes, why shouldn't I leave feedback or beta a fic or find a link for someone? When it comes to a direct choice between the two, I'll try to do as much as I can for someone, but sometimes I just have to take care of myself. And if someone's putting me in that position not because they need to or are hurting, but because they're a self-centered bastard, than all bets are off.


And then shes_unreal asked me another five questions.

1. You're given a small box as a gift. Ideally, what would it contain and who would it be from?
What a question. Um. A new 40gig Ipod? A blank check? A letter of acceptance to grad school? And I don't really care who it's from, just as long as I get the stuff. *laughs*

I don't know. There's nothing I really need, or having been wishing for a lot lately. Probably the money.

2. You are allowed to be any animal, vegetable or mineral for exactly two hours. Which would you choose?
A fish. I wouldn't want to be a rock, no matter what kind, and I think most plants would be pretty boring. Wouldn't it be so cool to swim around a coral reef or kelp bed without needing to come up for air?

3. If there was an exploratory trip heading to the nearest planetary star system on a ship that was travelling at light speed, so you would only age a few years while on the ship while everything and everyone on Earth aged a hell of a lot more (say 100-200 years, I don't know how far away the nearest planetary system is), and you're one of ten people allowed to go, would you?
Probably not. I don't think that I'd care enough about being the first person on a new planet to be willing to give up everyone I know, not to mention that by the time you got back, you'd confront an entirely different culture and society. I like our time, and the people around me now (well. Maybe not all of humanity, but I doubt that would improve any in a few hundred years, and then I'd have to make all new friends).

3 1/2. Could that last question have been more complicated?
Hee. No.

4. You are magically shrunk down until you are 8 inches tall. What do you do?
Figure out how to get back to normal size as quickly as possible! I'd be afraid of getting eaten by a cat or something. But, uh, then I might have fun climbing over my furniture like it was a bunch of mountains.

5. If you could meet a certain powerful government figure alone in a dark alley, what would you do to him?
*laughs* Well, I might be tempted... But no. I wouldn't do anything. I don't think the way to solve these problems is by killing off the head.

I might glare at him.



Want some questions from me?
Rules:
1. Leave a comment saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I'll reply and give you five questions to answer.
3. You'll update your LJ with the five questions answered.
4. You'll include this explanation.
5. You ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed. And it just keeps going, and going, and going.