Holidays

[brigdh]

Hey, today is Presidents' Day! Who knew? Not me, certainly, and it took me until after I'd first been turned away from a computer lab and found the entire Anthropology building empty and the main office dark and shut to realize that, you know, maybe there was some sort of holiday going on. (In my defense, it's not terribly unusual for the computer lab to close for problems ranging from rebuilding to water on the stairs, so I didn't immediately leap to the conclusion that today was anything other than that.) And tomorrow is Mardi Gras! It is one of the goals of my life to eventually spend Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but I don't think I'm going to make it there by tomorrow.

Last night, I had dinner with the other first-years in my department. I've complained before that I never see any of these people; the problem is that Anthropology is divided into four fields (cultural, physical, linguistics, and archaeology) and given that I am the only archaeologist, I'm taking entirely different classes from the rest of them (nearly all cultural), spending time with different people in different places, and generally never so much as happening across them in the hallway. I've long been aware that there must be social activities going on that I was excluded from, because when people move to a new city where they know no one, it's natural to congregate together. But short of hunting down and assaulting a near stranger and demanding to be included, there wasn't much I could do about it.

Anyway, none of that matters, because clearly I've now managed to insert myself into the group. I probably would have appreciated this far more six months ago, when I would have been less inclined to notice how boring most of these people are, and if it would be rude yet to go home. Though I think I would have been less irritated if we had not managed to follow the "places in New York a 'petite, 120-pound white woman'* should not go alone" conversation with "women need boyfriends so they have someone to fix their computer". And it was women saying these things! Blah.

(Hahahaha! I'm sitting in my coffeeshop right now, and someone from this group just came over to say hello to me. Thankfully I'm reading Dinosaur Comics in another window, and had that maximized, so he did not see my evaluation of his interestingness. Though actually, his boyfriend was the coolest person there, and told me all about how he is learning to make cheese so that he will be able to support himself and trade for other goods once civilization collaspses. Why am I in so many discussions about the collapse of civilization recently? Hopefully none of them consistute accurate foretellings.)

Also, on Saturday I finally finished the Swordspoint story I've been writing forever, despite it really not being that complicated. Just pointing it out because I know I shouldn't post things at 3am if I want people to see them, but I was impatient.

*That would be a quote, not my phrase

Comments

[weirdquark]

I have to say that as a short, slightly overweight white woman, the fact that I'm white really isn't the first thing on my mind to worry about when I'm alone in a city. (A friend of mine has occasionally found herself in what I would imagine are similar kinds of neighborhoods, but says she never worries about them because she's always on her bike and no one in these neighborhoods would bother a bike messenger. Stay on your bike, everyone.) I don't even worry too much about being short, except when I pass big burly men, because I've grappled with guys in my weight class in a friendly sort of way, and if I was trying to hurt someone instead of trying to not, I figure I'd be okay. With big burly men I have the "if he tried something, I'd be screwed" in the back of my mind, but I've never seriously thought anyone would. Just -- an awareness. Because I took self-defense way back when and I remember nothing. So I can understand conversations about avoiding certain areas when alone.

But needing a boyfriend to fix your computer? Pfft. I'm pretty sure I was as tech savvy as my ex boyfriend anyway, so he wouldn't have done me any good. What's wrong with people?

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Ah, but see, that's because you're thinking logically. How much muscle you have to throw around, and your training and experience in doing so, are things that are helpful to consider if you're thinking about finding yourself in physical danger. The 'petite white woman' conversation- of which this example is totally not the only time I've heard it- is instead going off of a paradigm in which these elements supposedly make one incredibly appealing as a victim of harassment, theft, murder, whatever, because 'petite white woman' = attractive to unnamed dangerous people (and thus the interest in actually stating what you weigh, because while a 120-pound person might be a black belt in karate and thus completely safe, they will definitely, be thin, which is all you need to count as pretty in many circles of society). I'm certain that it's entirely unconscious of the people doing it, but it drives me crazy because there's an undertone of "black men ain't capable of resisting the white wimmen!" to the whole thing. But it's hard to point out that the structure of this conversation revolves around the self-centered notion that any 'petite white women' are so incredibly desired as victims that even to go to these places would inevitably mean that would find themselves in trouble without being really insulting. After all, even the most dangerous neighboorhood has people who *live there every day*, so if you're thinking that for you to enter it would be an automatic death sentence, it must be because there is something different and special about you.

..and wow, I am apparently really bothered by this more than I'd realized. You seem to be luckier in not having witnessed this idea as often as I have. I've got no problem with saying, "hey, this area has more robberies and murders! Perhaps you should be cautious if alone!" But that sensible sort of tone is never the one these conversations are conducted in.

And dude, totally! I tried to argue that most of the computer geeks I knew were women, but the conversation just sort of flowed past my contribution.

[shes-unreal.livejournal.com]

Fact: Most murders committed in the USA are committed by people who know the other person, most usually by a lover or spouse. I'm not sure if that's still the preveailing statistic considering gang violence but I'm sure it is the leading cause of homicides of caucasian women, no matter how Court TV tries to scare you with stories about serial killers. Most rapes are committed by spouses/lovers as well. So don't fear the stranger down the street. Fear the boyfriend.

[weirdquark]

Logic. What do they teach them in these schools? ::g::

I kind of like walking around being paranoid about being attacked by whatever male person happen to be about. I can never manage to get myself in a mindset where I worry about the female people who are about, but this is probably mostly because the young women I see tend to be thinner than I am, and I could squish them. But paranoia gets the adrenalin going. It's sort of fun, for short periods of time.

But yeah. I live in a fairly safe area right now, so I've always felt safe walking by myself late at night most places. There are occasional notices of people getting mugged (mostly for their cell phone (mine is the free phone that came with my service, so I wouldn't care) and iPod (which I don't have)) so really, all I worry about is that when I tell a would-be mugger that I don't have an iPod they believe me. ::g:: There are a few slightly sketchy areas that I don't like to walk through by myself, but I've never even had anyone yell "hey baby" sorts of things at me.

Most of the computer geeks I know are women too, but I went to a women's college. Men? There are men in the universe? I swear, it was years before I stopped looking at teenage boys and thinking, "wow, she's butch." Being at a women's college probably has a lot to do with my coming across the "woe, I am a helpless female" crap less often too.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Yeah, seriously. Did you see how the news went crazy last year over that OSU coach's daughter who got murdered in NYC? And for weeks it was all like, "New York, so dangerous blah blah blah, how terrible she left the door unlocked blah blah blah," and then it turned out it had been done by her ex-boyfriend?

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

I kind of like walking around being paranoid

Ha! God, I do the exact same thing, but figured I was crazy and no one else would ever do that. I think it's just like watching a horror movie: you know you're not really in any danger, but it's exciting to pretend for a little while.

The place I live is perfectly safe, and I've always been in the habit of walking alone at night, because it's so much easier than trying to arrange to go places with someone else, and then sticking to that schedule. A lot of this discussion was about some of the more notorious areas, but even then, I really doubt it's so bad that "I would never, ever go there, even in the middle of day!" is really necessary.

Hee. You would think a bunch of anthropologists would be pretty hardcore feminists, but apparently not. *shrugs*