Things which weird me out
Jul. 8th, 2006 01:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brigdhAfter a day in which most of my activity involved eating pasta, oreos, and a Chiptole burrito, I went out to see a movie. We got there far too early, and so we stopped in at a nearby store having a sale. They had jeans for five dollars- which is practically as cheap as at Good Will- and so I bought a pair, discovering in the process that I've apparently gone down yet another size.
And then we went to the movie, where one plot point revolved entirely around the main character not being able to wear the size I now wear. Though eventually she gets there, after giving up carbs, among other things.
I was watching this, eating a large popcorn and with a large drink, and I could only conclude that the movie industry of America wants to drive me insane. They have me half convinced that I'm secretly anorexic and just haven't realized it yet, because surely no one could just... be at this size, it must be the result of a great deal of angst and strife and effort. I never know how to feel about body image issues, because I'm certainly not trying to lose weight. I feel vaguely guilty whenever people mention dieting or count calories around me; surely someone who would appreciate it more should have my metabolism instead. On the other hand, it's not like I mind- of course I like being able to eat whatever I want- but I feel like I should mind, or that I should mind less, or that it should matter in some way that it doesn't. It's a hugely important issue for so many people, but I have the opposite problem from most, and I don't know how to relate. Whenever I try to bring it up, I usually get blown off with the equivalent of 'poor little rich girl' and I understand where that's coming from. Still, I hate listening to people bash an actress or model for being too skinny by describing features which I have, and then be expected to agree. I'm not going to call myself ugly or say that there's no way someone could naturally be this weight, obviously it's a result of neurotic self-loathing. No.
So much of weight loss is just an annoyance to me, except that society insists that it's really a wonderful thing. When people often comment on or compliment me on something I'm unhappy with, it's hard to stay entirely unhappy with it, and yet: still annoying to not fit into my clothes, no matter in which direction the change is going. I end up with such bizarre mixed emotions that I have no idea what I think about the issue at all.
So, movies: stop talking about what sizes your actresses wear. It's upsetting for everyone!
And then we went to the movie, where one plot point revolved entirely around the main character not being able to wear the size I now wear. Though eventually she gets there, after giving up carbs, among other things.
I was watching this, eating a large popcorn and with a large drink, and I could only conclude that the movie industry of America wants to drive me insane. They have me half convinced that I'm secretly anorexic and just haven't realized it yet, because surely no one could just... be at this size, it must be the result of a great deal of angst and strife and effort. I never know how to feel about body image issues, because I'm certainly not trying to lose weight. I feel vaguely guilty whenever people mention dieting or count calories around me; surely someone who would appreciate it more should have my metabolism instead. On the other hand, it's not like I mind- of course I like being able to eat whatever I want- but I feel like I should mind, or that I should mind less, or that it should matter in some way that it doesn't. It's a hugely important issue for so many people, but I have the opposite problem from most, and I don't know how to relate. Whenever I try to bring it up, I usually get blown off with the equivalent of 'poor little rich girl' and I understand where that's coming from. Still, I hate listening to people bash an actress or model for being too skinny by describing features which I have, and then be expected to agree. I'm not going to call myself ugly or say that there's no way someone could naturally be this weight, obviously it's a result of neurotic self-loathing. No.
So much of weight loss is just an annoyance to me, except that society insists that it's really a wonderful thing. When people often comment on or compliment me on something I'm unhappy with, it's hard to stay entirely unhappy with it, and yet: still annoying to not fit into my clothes, no matter in which direction the change is going. I end up with such bizarre mixed emotions that I have no idea what I think about the issue at all.
So, movies: stop talking about what sizes your actresses wear. It's upsetting for everyone!
