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brigdhIt's weird to be graduating.
Not so much the graduating itself, because it's hard to be particularly nostalgic over taking classes or being a student when I'll be doing it again in three months, but it feels strange to be moving off campus without expecting to come back. Every time I go somewhere or do something, I keep thinking, this is the last time I'll ever do this!. It's just so bizarre to have these things and these places that I know so well, and to simply... stop.
And I do know this place well, incredibly so. It's past the point of knowing, even, and into muscle memory; sometime I'll walk over to my coffeeshop, or a class, or to get dinner, and I'll find myself halfway there without even having looked up, without having realized what I was doing. I'm hardly conscious of the way to go, I know it so well.
The people, too! Not my friends, because obviously I can keep contact with anyone I want to, but the people I don't know except in the most causal sense. Like the guy who drives the bus route I always ride, who held up traffic yesterday when he saw my walking by the road so I could run over and climb on, and then told me the new gossip he'd overheard from people who'd been riding earlier. Or the people who work at my coffeeshop, who all recognize me so easily that I don't need to order anymore, because they know what I want.
It's sad to leave all these people and places that I've made for myself and memorized and gotten used to. Not terribly so; I mean, I know how to deal with change without throwing a fit, and I've never much liked trying to cling to how things were. But I still feel a bit sad, even though I wouldn't stop it from moving on, even if I could.
Of course, possibly all the disorientation is coming from the fact that I went to bed on Tuesday at 8am. I keep forgetting what day of the week it is.
Not so much the graduating itself, because it's hard to be particularly nostalgic over taking classes or being a student when I'll be doing it again in three months, but it feels strange to be moving off campus without expecting to come back. Every time I go somewhere or do something, I keep thinking, this is the last time I'll ever do this!. It's just so bizarre to have these things and these places that I know so well, and to simply... stop.
And I do know this place well, incredibly so. It's past the point of knowing, even, and into muscle memory; sometime I'll walk over to my coffeeshop, or a class, or to get dinner, and I'll find myself halfway there without even having looked up, without having realized what I was doing. I'm hardly conscious of the way to go, I know it so well.
The people, too! Not my friends, because obviously I can keep contact with anyone I want to, but the people I don't know except in the most causal sense. Like the guy who drives the bus route I always ride, who held up traffic yesterday when he saw my walking by the road so I could run over and climb on, and then told me the new gossip he'd overheard from people who'd been riding earlier. Or the people who work at my coffeeshop, who all recognize me so easily that I don't need to order anymore, because they know what I want.
It's sad to leave all these people and places that I've made for myself and memorized and gotten used to. Not terribly so; I mean, I know how to deal with change without throwing a fit, and I've never much liked trying to cling to how things were. But I still feel a bit sad, even though I wouldn't stop it from moving on, even if I could.
Of course, possibly all the disorientation is coming from the fact that I went to bed on Tuesday at 8am. I keep forgetting what day of the week it is.
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Graduation
Date: 2006-06-09 08:42 am (UTC)Tomorrow will be the last day of college, and I can't help but notice every little detail I failed to see before. I'll be graduating in a few days, so I'll have to come to school to face my exams, but it won't be the same as before. Part of me wishes for it to be the end, because I'm sick of profs that feel superior because they have knowledge, because this building has an atmosphere that's awful even for outsiders who come to visit, and because I'm tired of stupid assignments, too. But I guess I'll miss it. I can't help but wondering how it'll be being out definitely, you know?
Of course, going to university will probably be the same. I'll study, know new people, so I can't really understand why I'm giving to graduation this importance.
Well, I suppose we'll have to enjoy these last days to the fullest, ne? ^^
Good luck to you from Italy :P
Kyio
Re: Graduation
Date: 2006-06-10 03:57 am (UTC)And good luck to you too!