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A meme, ganked from everyone
1. I am 21.
A lot of people seem to have different ideas as to my age (mainly that I'm older than I actually am, which believe me, totally makes my day each time it happens. I do try to sound mature), though I would have thought everyone was aware of it, as much as I post about school or similar things. All this means is that I do not have memories of things like the Reagen Administration or disco.
This is my seventh year in fandom, though, so I feel perfectly justified in claiming the title of BOFQ on those days when I feel, you know, bitter and old.
2. I am female and a feminist.
This is probably not a surprise to most readers. It doesn't come up much because I automatically assume that everyone I met is going to give me the same respect and rights as they would to a male of my age and capabilities, and the few times I've had resistance in this area I've mostly just laughed in their faces.
It has been a problem with people imagining that I somehow become incapable of walking myself home once the sun sets. It's come up with me maybe more than most because I am somewhat tiny and blonde, and because I go everywhere after dark, but it really didn't take long for the constant offers of escorts to go from 'polite but unnecessary' to 'extremely fucking annoying'. I live on campus for nine or ten months out of the year, and I consider it my home. Implying that it is unsafe or wrong for me to be alone here, regardless of the time or reason, not only says to me that you consider me incapable of taking care of myself, but that I do not have the right to follow my own desires on my own. If I decide I want to go get a donut at 3am, I am going to go get a donut at 3am, whether or not I have an assistant to go with me.
I am not reluctant to fight. If someone touches me on my 3am donut run and I do not want them to, I will break their fingers. There is nothing more an escort could do than I could do alone, unless they were secretly Shaolin fighting monks, and most of the people who make these offers probably couldn't beat up my little brother. I have no idea what help they think they are offering, but I am insulted that everyone seems to think I should require it.
Is this taking a risk? Yes. It is. There will always be people who are stronger than me, or who are armed, or who are in large groups. I'm not oblivious. But I am making a conscious, aware decision: I would prefer to be raped and murdered than to live my life locked in a room because 'something bad could happen', or to need another's permission to move about in my own home. I'm sick of people questioning my choice.
Wow, that got long. Apparently I am still bitter about it, although the offers of escorts have really gone down since I started threatening people.
3. I am gay.
Yep. You may know this or you may not, since I'm not sure how often I mention it. As long as you don't say anything homophobic, we're cool.
4. I am not religious.
I was raised Roman Catholic, complete with 15 years of Catholic education (yes, there were uniforms. In reality they are ugly and ill-fitting, and not at all hot). I had my crisis of faith at about 14- that was a big time for me. I got into fandom, realized I was gay, became an atheist, became a vegetarian, got my first real job, and my darling baby cousin was born. The planets were really aligned that year- which means that, by now, I've long since left behind any of the angst of it. There's no perfect term to describe how I feel about it; I'm somewhere between an atheist and an agnostic. I tend to consider religion, spirituality and belief as very private things, and I'm reluctant to talk about them, mainly because I think that everyone has their own personal views, and it won't do any good to criticize or attempt to change anyone.
I do not think that people who believe in organized religion are stupid or somehow fooling themselves. In fact, I rather admire them. Faith seems like a very nice thing to have. Part of me is even jealous- though do not take that as invitation to convert me. People have tried. I have tried. It's not going to happen. I think I was born without the gene that makes that sort of trust possible. One of my earliest memories is from when I was 5 or 6: I went up to a nun and asked her how she was so sure all that stuff about Jesus was true. Faith was just never meant to happen for me.
5. I am white.
However, I grew up in the ghetto. Every possible shade of skin color was present in my school and neighborhood, and I always thought that was the way it was everywhere. I never noticed anyone's race on a level beyond how I would notice their hair or eye color. It wasn't an important factor in who I was friends with, who I had crushes on, who I hated, who my favorite teacher was, who the most boring priest was, who my parents tried to set me up with, etc, etc.
I never heard anything outrightly racist growing up. I never imagined that race still mattered to some people. I heard my first racist joke when I was 16, and the shock of that moment is indescribable. I had not realized that racism still existed. I mean, sure, obviously it did. The bad guys in movies were racist. They were probably a bunch of hillbillies out in the country who still thought like that. Some old people had never managed to move with the times and realize how wrong they were. But actual, out-and-out racism, today, in my city? No. It just didn't happen.
Obviously, I was about to get my head pounded in by reality. Although I've managed to accept the fact that it happens, I cannot accept that it is okay. I will not tolerate any racism at all on my journal, on my friends list, in real life, or in fictional characters. I do not care that it's hard to move past stereotypes you were taught or to fight against the perceptions of your culture. I have no pity for it being somehow difficult for you, because the longer it takes you to deal and pull your head out of your ass, the longer people are suffering. I'm angry that reality is so much worse than how I believed it was, and I take it out on the people who make it that way. And I am not kidding about this: I have defriended exactly one person ever for a reason other than "we've drifted apart and my flist is getting too big to manage", and that was over a post describing Martin Luther King Day as an excuse to make white people feel guilty.
I kept trying to write a post about this when the topic of fandom and race went around a few weeks ago, but the only things that came of it were very politely worded versions of "What the fuck is wrong with you people?", which is where this is starting to head too, so I'll stop now.
6. Not capitalizing is the surest way to get me to ignore you.
I don't know why, but it is. I can tolerate misspellings and grammar mistakes, and hey, everyone makes typos. I don't even mind leet-speak too much. But if you don't bother to capitalize, it's like you hit the 'skimming now' switch in my brain.
7. Disagreeing is not the same as disliking.
I would hope most people know this. I like to talk about lots of things, and I like to debate. Often, I might hold a different opinion from you. This does not mean that I dislike you, or that I now think less of you as a person, or anything else. If I contradict you, I am not doing it to be insulting, but just because I assume that other people also like to have debates. If you don't, feel free to call me on it, and I'll apologize. Just don't think that I'm arguing with you out of a secret hatred; I'd hate to think that I hurt someone without intending to.
8. If you're going to insult me, you'd better be blunt about it.
If you're subtle, I will automatically take the nicest possible reading of your statement. I do this because I figure that people have bad days, that they say things they regret, that they speak without thinking about how their words could appear. I do this because I don't need people to coddle me; if your overall intentions are good, I won't mind if you're not always nice. Not only will I not be offended, not only will I forgive you, I'll even pretend to not notice the times you were rude, and I'll keep doing it until the end of eternity. I do this because second chances are good things. I do this because I see no reason to take offense until I'm absolutely sure the other person has been consciously, deliberately trying to cause harm.
And it doesn't hurt that it really pisses people off when they're trying to annoy you and you just keep smiling and saying nice things. *grins*
9. I have the darkest sense of humor imaginable.
A few of these early statements probably made me seem kinda touchy, but in truth, I'm not at all. I'm actually pretty hard to provoke. I wouldn't worry about accidentally offending me; I once had several dozen dead baby jokes memorized. Try and beat that for offensiveness.
10. I'm not working on either of the projects I have due on Monday.
Okay, that's not really relevant at all, but I can't think of a tenth.
Although, you know, this might actually be a pretty good thing to assume about me. If I'm posting on livejournal, I'm probably procrastinating on homework. It's like a universal truth.
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I should write a book or something. Less stress in people's lives and more money for me! It all works out.
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You should! ...unfortunately, most of the people who probably need to read it won't take it to heart.
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So, uh, yes, I completely agree that it's wonderful to see that there are a few people capable of using the English language correctly. Heh.
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I didn't find out about the whole modern racism thing until I was in fifth grade, when I joined a new school to do a reverse Spanish immersion thing as the sole white kid in a class of Hispanic kids gradually learning English. Later I found out that the Hispanic kids and the white kids in the school didn't like each other because, in that area, the white kids' parents owned the ranches and the Hispanic kids' parents worked for the ranchers. I was the out-of-district daughter of a roofer and, for a long time, really fucking confused. Also friendless. :D
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Heh. That must have really sucked. Stupid reality destroying our lovely childhood ideas.
OT
(If you don't have a Demonoid account, just poke me and I'll send you an invite.)
Re: OT
(Unfortunately, I don't have an accound. Could I get an invite?)
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